Excelsior Springs Weekly Horoscopes – May 26-June 1, 2025
This week the stars say: stretch it out, sip it down, bet it all, and read that slightly banned book like your library card depends on it. From poker tables to wine caves to learning to be a mermaid, it’s a beautifully chaotic time to be alive.
Brought to you by Molly Roberts Studio and Metaphysical, 253 E Broadway, downtown Excelsior Springs!
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Aries, you’re feeling bold, brave, and mildly competitive with a toddler at Storytime (it’s fine, they started it). Run out that energy at the Team 5k Running Group, where your only true rival is a rogue stroller. Cap off the week by hitting Open Mic Night—because the stars say you have a lot to say… into a microphone… loudly.
Power Move: Win at Casual Commander at Other Trails, purely by intimidation and snacks.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Taurus, this week is about indulgence with intention. Stroll into the Four Course Wine Dinner like it’s a Michelin star party (it’s not, but don’t let that stop you). Browse Shop Local Late, sniff things at The Candle Bar, and take home something you’ll never use but look fabulous owning.
Lucky Event: Featured Wine Selection at Casa Di Vite—it pairs well with your entire lifestyle.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Gemini, you’re bouncing between events like your life’s a pop-up ad. Join the Book Group at the library and totally finish the book this time (probably), then flirt with fate at the Oracle Card Reading. Saturday? Say yes to everything: wine, paint class, a possibly cursed antique from downtown.
Lucky Event: Mermaid Lessons at ESCC—you’ll thrive in a tail and never look back.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer, your heart is full and your Pinterest board is thriving. Attend Kids Art Workshop and resist the urge to cry over googly eyes. Then let your inner mermaid splash out at Mermaid Lessons, where you’ll be the emotional siren of the deep end. You’ll recover over a wine tasting—naturally.
Lucky Event: Parents as Teachers Playdates—tiny hugs and finger paint: your emotional love language.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Leo, the stage is calling and you’re answering in rhinestones. Begin with Yoga with Kristin so you can say you “balanced your chakras” before slaying karaoke at Open Mic Night. Follow it up with Live Music with Maggie Boone, where you’ll clap so enthusiastically your hands need ice afterward.
Lucky Event: Fernweh Distilling Tasting—because your charisma improves with artisanal spirits.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Virgo, this week you are balancing spreadsheets and chakras. Attend the Planning & Zoning Commission Meeting, then cleanse your brain with Yoga Foundations. Organize your paint palette for the Acrylic Paint Class, then casually dominate Chess Club with three simultaneous matches and perfect posture.
Lucky Event: Happy Hour at The Candle Bar—the only chaos you’ll allow is floral-scented.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Libra, it’s all balance and brunch vibes this week. Sip wine by candlelight during the Winery Tour, swing by the Crafting Day at Knit Ewe, and then visit Lisa for an Oracle Card Reading that accidentally changes your life. By Sunday, you’ll be making floral arrangements for no reason at all.
Lucky Event: Summer Reading Challenge Kick-Off—books + snacks + sticker charts = bliss.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Scorpio, you’re mysterious, magnetic, and slightly intimidating at chess club. First stop: Silent Breakdown Skin Workshop where you’ll pretend to casually learn about peptides while mentally planning world domination. Then hit the Wine Cave Tour and ponder the meaning of tannins. Deep.
Lucky Event: Live Music with Southern Breeze Band—you’ll be brooding in the corner… rhythmically.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Sag, you’re all gas and glitter this week. Begin at Yoga Foundations, pretend to meditate, then leap directly into Youth Fishing Day, where you’ll catch a fish and a sunburn. Wrap up at Happy Hour at The Candle Bar, where you’ll overanalyze candle names like they’re horoscopes.
Lucky Event: Gils Ministries Retreat at Lake Maurer—because even wild spirits need a recharge.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Cap, you’re on a mission: productivity + wine = personal growth. Attend the Housing Authority Meeting for no reason other than to feel accomplished, then reward yourself with a Fernweh Tasting and a deep sigh. You’ll take control of the Crafting Day glue guns with terrifying efficiency.
Lucky Event: Youth Fishing Day—you show up “just to observe” and leave with 3 trophies and a laminated fish fact sheet.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Aquarius, this week you’re less person, more eccentric constellation. You’ll ponder society at the Parks and Rec Meeting, then recharge in mystical glory with Oracle Card Reading and Solana’s Happy Hour—where you’ll ask philosophical questions to a lavender candle.
Lucky Event: The Book Group’s banned book—because rebellious literature is your love language.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Pisces, you’re swimming in a sea of feelings and glitter. Float into Mermaid Lessons, obviously, and then paint your emotions at the Acrylic Paint Class, ideally in shades of melancholy and hope. Close the week under the stars at Movie in the Park, where a cartoon robot makes you sob in public.
Lucky Event: Open Mic Night at The Atlas—you might not go up, but you’ll feel everything.
Whether you’re flipping your fins at the pool, sipping rosé in a cave, or crying into a banned book, this week is pure Excelsior magic. Go forth and sparkle, sweet weirdos.
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