Brought to you by Molly Roberts Studio and Metaphysical, 253 E Broadway, downtown Excelsior Springs
Here’s your week’s horoscopes for Excelsior Springs — full of local flavor, fun, and opportunities to shine!
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You woke up this week and chose cardio. Channel that chaotic energy into the Team 5k Running Group at ESCC, and then humblebrag about your mileage over a juice at The Candle Bar. Can’t run? Walk it off with the Team 5k Walking Group — still counts.
🔥 Pro Tip: You absolutely have the nerve to take the mic at Open Mic Night at The Atlas Saloon. Do it. We dare you.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus, we know your idea of cardio is rolling your eyes. But this week, lean into your artistic side with Sip and Paint at Walnut Creek or decorate spooky cookies like you’re on a haunted episode of Nailed It.
🍷 Luxury Moment: Nothing screams “self-care” like the West Bottoms Whiskey Tasting. You’ll pretend you can taste the oak barrel even though it all just burns a little.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Your social calendar is stuffed tighter than your fall sweater. Say yes to literally everything: Chamber Luncheon, Homecoming Parade, Ladies Night, Widowed Wednesday Lunch (they won’t check your status, we promise).
🎭 For Your Two Personalities: Hit The Springs Singers Cabaret—sing along, cry, and contemplate becoming a lounge singer.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You’re in your feelings, Cancer — which is your normal setting. Slide into Movement & Mindfulness Yoga and cry a little in child’s pose (we won’t judge). Grab your littles and show off at Home School Swim or Miss Ramsey’s Little Artists Club — because crafts and chlorinated tears heal all.
💔 Emotional Support Event: The New Freedom Recovery Program isn’t just for others. Show up and show yourself some love.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Main character energy? Check. Street parade to prove it? Also check. The Homecoming Parade is basically your runway, Leo, so strut. Once you’re done waving like royalty, hit Open Mic Night and bless the crowd with your “impromptu” performance.
🦁 Royal Agenda: Add a glow-up at Ladies Night at Sturm Bros. or rule the world one cookie at a time at the Community Cookie Decorating Class.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You made a spreadsheet of your local events, didn’t you? Nerd. But we love you. Attend the Community Center Board Meeting and pretend it’s not the highlight of your week. Then sneak in a little fun (yes, we said it) with BYOC Crafting Day at Knit Ewe Together — control your chaos with yarn.
📈 Efficiency Bonus: Combine fitness and guilt with Silver Move & Stretch. Multitasking = your kink.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You’re weighing every invitation like it’s a Supreme Court case. Newsflash: You can do both the Thursday Tea on Thompson and The Life of a Wine Girl at Shamrock Hills. Just pace your pinky fingers.
⚖️ Balance Hack: Meditate at yoga, then wildly impulse-buy during Sunday Shopping at Heartland Quilt Supply. Serenity and capitalism can coexist.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Dark, mysterious, and just a little spooky — it’s basically your seasonal peak. Hit up The 1st Annual Donnici’s Halloween Car Show & Trunk or Treat and judge people’s costumes silently. Heal your shadow self at Energy Healing with Jordan, or just channel all that angst into cookie decorating and pretend you’re fine.
🦂 Vibe Check: You were born for a chess club. Prove your dark genius at Casa Di Vite Chess Club.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You’re allergic to being bored. So don’t be. Crash the Job Corps Open House just to learn a new skill. Join a swim class for no reason. Try yoga. Then zip off to a Magic the Gathering night and pretend you don’t take it personally when you lose.
🏹 Risk It: The Christian Rock Concert at Pisgah Baptist is free — go, rock out, confuse everyone, leave enlightened.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
You’re grinding as usual, Capricorn, and yes, the Chamber Luncheon is basically your Super Bowl. But for the love of productivity, put down the calendar and pick up a cookie at Spooky Cookie Decorating. You deserve joy, even if it’s scheduled.
📊 Power Move: Dominate the ESPRCC Tailgate like it’s a corporate mixer. Bonus points if you network with a bratwurst.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
You’re delightfully weird, and this week you get to flaunt it. Go rogue at the Mini Spiritual Fair, show up to Drum Fit at ESCC and make it performance art, or mix chaos and crafts at BYOC Day.
👽 Off-Beat Magic: Hit up The Life of a Wine Girl for a philosophical journey disguised as a wine tasting.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You are a walking daydream this week, Pisces. Dive into Unwind and Recharge Yoga, decorate cookies like it’s your life’s work, and cry (again) during The Springs Singers Cabaret.
🐟 Floaty Bonus: Take a toddler to swim. Yours or borrowed. Water + you = peace.
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