Excelsior Springs Horoscopes – September 29-October 5, 2025
Brought to you by Molly Roberts Studio and Metaphysical, 253 E Broadway, downtown Excelsior Springs
The stars took one look at Excelsior Springs this week and said, “Yup, that’s chaos.” Between Irish festivals, pet blessings, and rage smashing, here’s your cosmic survival guide.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Aries, you’ll sprint at Team 5k Running Group, cannonball at Toddler Swim, and still find energy to shout at strangers during Karaoke Night at The Eagles. You were built for volume, not moderation.
Cosmic Tip: At the Irish Festival, don’t try Irish dancing unless someone signed waivers.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Wine, candles, and snacks—Taurus, this week is your Olympics. Start at Casa Di Vite’s Featured Wine, unwind at Happy Hour at The Candle Bar, and finish strong at the Booquet Bar at Solana. Call it “athlete’s fuel.”
Cosmic Tip: If your pet doesn’t behave at the Blessing of the Pets, just blame Mercury.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Gemini, you’ll dabble in everything: Chess Club, Open Mic Night, and maybe even City Council Work Session just to argue both sides. By Saturday you’re at the Irish Festival, switching between accents like it’s a sport.
Cosmic Tip: At BYOC Crafting Day, you’ll finish half a project and declare it “artfully undone.”
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Cancer, your emotional rollercoaster starts at Parents as Teachers Playdates, peaks at Blessing of the Pets, and bottoms out when you cry into your wine at Chace Curtis’s live set at Fence Stile. Classic.
Cosmic Tip: Avoid Rage Cave—you’ll apologize to the broken plates.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Leo, your week is basically a stage: Burlesque Class, Karaoke Night, Irish Festival, and City Council. Yes, even City Council—you’re delivering your motions like monologues.
Cosmic Tip: At Boos & Blooms, make sure everyone sees your bouquet before theirs.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Virgo, meetings are your natural habitat. This week you’ve got Hospital Board, Planning & Zoning, ES SAFE, Beekeeping, Cornerstone Elem., and City Council—basically, you’re the town’s unpaid intern. Celebrate with a very organized glass at the Wine Cave Tour.
Cosmic Tip: At the Irish Festival, try not to correct anyone’s Guinness pour.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Libra, balance is your whole brand. You’ll hit Drum Fit at ESCC, then balance it with Happy Hour at The Candle Bar. You’ll smash at Rage Cave, then carefully glue something back together at Crafting Day. You’re chaotic harmony, personified.
Cosmic Tip: At Boos & Blooms, your bouquet will be more symmetrical than your life.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio, this is your villain origin week: plotting in Chess Club, brooding at Wine Cave Tours, and strutting into Boos & Blooms like you invented spooky florals. By Sunday, you’re at the Blessing of the Pets, whispering dark secrets to someone’s pug.
Cosmic Tip: Don’t duel the auctioneer at Mac’s Auction—it’s bad PR.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Sagittarius, you’ll bounce from Irish Festival to Auction to Crafting Day like the human version of a pinball. By the weekend, you’re at Smashing Opportunities, insisting it’s “extreme therapy.”
Cosmic Tip: At Open Mic Night, don’t attempt stand-up unless you’re ready to bomb spectacularly.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Cap, your week is one long agenda: Hospital Board, Planning & Zoning, SAFE Meeting, City Council Work Session. By Friday, you’ll be at Happy Hour at The Candle Bar pretending to network but really just trying not to scream.
Cosmic Tip: At Elkhorn Day at Donnici’s, ask for a receipt. You can’t help yourself.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Aquarius, your weirdness thrives this week. You’ll vibe at Energy Healing with Jordan, overcommit at the Irish Festival, and call the Men’s Retreat at Lake Maurer your “research trip.” Expect to confuse everyone and delight yourself.
Cosmic Tip: At Boos & Blooms, announce your bouquet is “performance art.”
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Pisces, you’ll splash through Toddler Swim, Home School Swim, and finally your own tears at Booquet Bar after one too many themed cocktails. You’ll then drift into the Blessing of the Pets convinced someone’s schnauzer reincarnated as your spirit guide.
Cosmic Tip: Crying at Chace Curtis’s set is not optional. It’s destiny.
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