Excelsior Springs Weekly Horoscopes

Get ready for a whirlwind week of racing, sipping, crafting, and spiritual stretching—plus enough goat balls and lobster croquets to fill a unicorn’s pouch. Let’s dive into how the cosmos wants you to prep your sneakers and sip responsibly!

Brought to you by Molly Roberts Studio and Metaphysical, 253 E Broadway, downtown Excelsior Springs!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ve got the energy of a toddler hopped up on swim noodles. Channel it into Team 5k Running Group—that stroller you passed? Your new bestie. Later, try Speed & Agility Football Training at ESFA—you’ll finally outrun that “leisurely jog” reputation. Cap it off at Open Mic Night by belting out your poem about laundry day with unapologetic passion.

Power Move: Music Bingo at Fence Stile
You’ll charm the crowd AND win free wine—boss move.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Taurus, you’re living your best foodie + florist life. Start at the ES Morning Farmers Market, sniff all the basil, buy one strawberry (or five). Then bloom at the Floral Workshop with Bea’s Flowers—you’ll leave smelling like sunshine. If anyone asks, you’re the “bouquet whisperer.”

Power Move: Happy Hour at The Candle Bar
Light a candle, sip something smoky, call it self-care.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Ah, Gemini, you’re social-streaming this whole week. Pop into two Vacation Bible Schools—just to keep people guessing. Bounce from Home School Swim to Aqua Kids at ESCC, because water = your happy place. Then triumph at Casual Commander MTG with a deck no one expected—and still sound sweet while doing it.

Power Move: BYOC Crafting Day
Glue sticks, gossip, greatness.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Cancer, your nurturing heart wants to create and grow. So paint with kiddos at Kids Art Workshop, then pot succulents at Gardeners. End the week at the Beachy Swim event (we know your heart’s been wishing for it) and finish with Guided Winery Tour—for that sweet, sweet grape therapy.

Power Move: Patriotic Candle Class
You’ll dip, drip, and declare independence from candle-normalness.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Leo, you’re the soundtrack this town needs. Start with bold moves at Central Links Jr Tournament and strut your stuff at Lyrics on the Lawn – Western Hippie. Then command attention at Open Mic Night—bonus if you interpretive dance your poem about dog treats.

Power Move: Jazzed to Retire at Huey’s Vault
You’ll show up in sequins and applause floods the room.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Virgo, it’s all about structure with a side of floral elegance. Attend the Housing Choice Voucher Info meeting, then unwind at BYOC Crafting Day where your color-coded gluing system becomes the stuff of legend. By Sunday, you’ll be organizing wine by tannin level at Wine Cave Tasting.

Power Move: Music Bingo
Your flawless spreadsheet strategy will lead to wine victory.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Libra, balance and bliss are your vibe. Start with Senior Fitness Classes and end with twirling at Yoga with Kristin. Pop into the ES Evening Farmers Market for cute trinkets, then shine bright at Happy Hour at The Candle Bar—because charm is your power accessory.

Power Move: Live Music at Van Till Winery
You’ll sway so prettily, even the grapes will blush.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Scorpio, your week is deliciously mysterious. Strategize at Chess Club, then calmly crush opponents at Casual Commander MTG. Swoon over wine darkness at the Star Wine Tour, but resist the urge to ghost everyone at Open Mic—leave ‘em wanting more.

Power Move: Ronimous Lifetime Auction
You’ll quietly outbid everyone and vanish into legend.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Sagittarius, life’s a woo-woo adventure this week. “Mermaid Lessons”? You’re the human-siren hybrid of your dreams. Then bounce across the splash zones at Toddler Swim and Free Senior Fitness—just because you can. Wrap it up with a raucous round of Swinging Fore a Cause Golf for laughs and charity.

Power Move: Music Bingo
You’ll sing along wildly and win anyway. Bold.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Capricorn, your world runs smoothly—and profitably. You’ll attend both Golf tournaments, network like a politician, and then unwind with finely curated candle scents at The Candle Bar. Pop into the Gardeners meeting to critique someone’s rose pruning (constructively, of course).

Power Move: BYOC Crafting Day
You’ll organize your glue sticks by color and feel complete.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Aquarius, your mind is percolating creative genius. Attend Open Mic, host a tofu-thought experiment at the Hall of Writers, and then sweeten it with mermaid glitter at Yoga with Kristin. You’ll accidentally start a viral hashtag (#CandleLitMermaid).

Power Move: Patriotic Candle Class
Glow is your brand. Fireworks optional.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Pisces, you’re frolicking through emotions and petting puppies. Attend the Vacation Bible Schools for community feels and tears. Then pick up paintbrushes at Art in the Park, only to wind down with Music Bingo—singing can’t help but entangle your soul.

Power Move: Friends at the Villa (a.k.a. Swim)
You’ll splash, giggle, and maybe form a synchronized mermaid team.

✨ This week in Excelsior Springs is as quirky as your horoscope group chat—full of craft glue, wine caves, yoga wetsuits, and enough charm to fill the town square. Lace-up, laugh loud, and bloom brightly!